My goal is for every person on this planet to live a life dripping with pleasure. Especially you.
How do you do that?
The first step is defining and creating healthy boundaries that allow you to feel safe, relaxed, and fully present in your body. Boundaries create the spaciousness you are craving.
Pleasure can’t thrive without spaciousness.
Many of the folks in my world struggle with boundaries because we live in a culture that rewards us for not having any.
Does this sound familiar?
- You are praised for going the extra mile
- You are the “ride or die” for everyone in your life
- You are the first one to volunteer for…anything
- You feel guilty for saying no
- You are overwhelmed with anxiety if you think someone is mad, upset, or disappointed
Yeah?
You aren’t the only one.
You are constantly receiving positive reinforcement for over-giving and allowing others to take advantage of your desire to help. It’s natural to want to be seen in your compassion. Humans are communal creatures. We need each other.
This becomes problematic when you give without receiving. When supporting the important people in your life makes you feel sluggish and drained, your body is sending you a signal that your boundaries need to be fortified.
Your body is your messenger
When life gets busy and overwhelming, we have a tendency to lose the connection to our bodies. Has your brain ever overridden a signal that your body was sending you?
For example, when someone asks you for a favor and your gut clenches, your boundaries are being bumped. If you say yes when you don’t really want to say yes, then your boundaries are being crossed.
Then you do the favor but it doesn’t feel good, it feels like resentment.
This has happened to all of us.
If you want to ease the stress and tension in your life, define and strengthen your boundaries.
Your body is your ally in this process.
And here is the best part…
Your body is not only your ally in setting boundaries, it is the vehicle through which pleasure arrives.
Let’s talk about a few of my favorite ways to make friends with your meat suit.
Breath, presence, and cup-filling
It all comes down to three things: breath, presence, and cup-filling.
Breath
The simplest way to drop into your body is to bring your awareness to your breath. You don’t have to change it or judge it, simply notice the air moving in and out of your lungs.
Your body gives you the gift of moving oxygen into your bloodstream and exhaling the carbon dioxide that you don’t need. It does this without you having to ask. How cool is that?
You are already breathing, so you don’t have to do anything different. Just notice it.
If you need to ground yourself or calm any anxiety or racing thoughts, you can begin to intentionally slow your breathing by pausing for a few seconds at the end of your inhale and exhale.
The more you pause to notice your breath, the more natural it will feel to be present with the moment.
This brings us to my next tool…
Presence
Your body comes equipped with superpowers in the form of your senses.
Generally speaking, we have 5 of them: touch, sight, smell, taste, and sound. Engaging your senses is a sure-fire way to bring yourself into the present moment.
You can do this by focusing your attention on what is happening with each of your senses.
- Observe 5 objects in the space around you. Simply notice them without judgment.
- Feel the texture of your clothing, the chair, or the floor beneath you, or rub your arms and feel your skin
- Listen for the different layers of sound in your environment. Can you hear traffic outside? Air moving through a vent? Birds chirping?
- Pay attention to any smells that you observe. Can you smell your shampoo? Or that candle you burned? Or something that was cooked in your kitchen last night?
- Do you notice any tastes? Maybe your toothpaste? You can also pop in a stick of gum or a piece of sour candy to engage your tastebuds and help you connect.
Now that you have acknowledged what is present, the next step is to invite pleasure.
Cup-filling
I know that you’ve heard the adage you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Well, it’s true. Your new boundaries will do you the favor of making room for cup-filling, i.e., pleasure. When your cup is full, the people around you get the benefit of your radiance. You are showing up as your best self, which feels very different than showing up depleted and grumpy.
Cup-filling looks different for everyone. Activities that leave you feeling joyful, playful, and peaceful are filling your cup.
Maybe it’s a walk outside, cuddling your furry friends, or a coffee date.
Maybe it’s a delicious dinner, a night out, or a pedicure.
It doesn’t matter what fills your cup, as long as the cup is getting filled.
Your body is your bridge to the life you desire
Your body is constantly giving you feedback. When you pay attention and use the feedback to make decisions about how you spend your time and energy, you are building healthy boundaries. When you have healthy boundaries you have the spaciousness for pleasure to thrive.
Then one day you look around and realize that you are living a life dripping with pleasure.
It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s the culmination of a series of decisions that you made to honor yourself.
With every fiber of my being, I know that this is possible for you.
I am so certain because this is how I live my life.
AND…
This is just the tip of the pleasure iceberg. In Unstuck Your Sex, you join an intimate cohort of beautiful humans who are also ready to embrace the freedom and joy that naturally occurs when you care for yourself and make pleasure a priority.
I share more of my strategies for befriending your body inside the course. I am here for your celebrations and I am here for the challenges that pop up when you start to put yourself first.
Does this sound like the next step in your journey? I would love to support you, because like I said…
My goal is for every person on this planet to live a life dripping with pleasure. Especially you.
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