Everyone loves a good transformation story.
The hero’s journey is something we can all relate to. It’s inspiring to hear someone talk about how they found themselves in a situation they wanted to change and had to courage to make their life better.
What we rarely hear about is an honest account of the process that got them from point A to point B.
Healing is beautiful.
It also can leave you feeling raw, vulnerable, and exposed. It looks messy sometimes.
Many folks who are trying to “fix” themselves slip back into old patterns because they get discouraged when their healing path doesn’t look like a straight trajectory upward.
They might think they are doing something wrong if they don’t see instantaneous change. Or maybe they build some good forward momentum, but run into an unexpected trigger and get discouraged.
What I want everyone to know is…
You aren’t broken. You aren’t doing anything wrong.
You are learning a whole new set of skills and it takes time and practice to master them.
When you are figuring out how to feel your feelings, take care of yourself, and set boundaries with love, there will be times when you feel overwhelmed and exhausted. This type of re-programming takes a lot of energy. Many people don’t expect emotional healing to be physically challenging.
The best thing that you can do to support yourself through these massive changes is to find a community.
One of the most painful experiences that human beings can have is feeling like they are alone. When we are going through a challenging time, many of us retreat in an attempt to protect our tender hearts. Maybe there are feelings of shame or guilt that we want to keep hidden.
Isolating yourself during these times is the worst thing you can do.
The healing of being seen and held.
A community of like-minded folks who are on a similar journey is invaluable.
When you are shifting your views, your beliefs, and your values, it can dig up a lot of emotion. There are probably a lot of coping mechanisms you turn to out of habit that are creating some resistance to this new way of being.
Often, patterns of behavior are so deeply buried that we don’t even realize they have been running in the background our entire lives. When we become aware of them and consciously let them go, it can launch us onto a rollercoaster of emotions.
There will be times when you just need someone to listen without judgment. It is massively healing to simply be witnessed in your pain and grief.
True healing and transformation require vulnerability. Vulnerability requires courage. Sometimes it might not feel like you have the courage to keep going.
If you have people that you can turn to when it all feels like too much, you can keep going. You can be uplifted when you need it the most.
This is not about willpower. You cannot muscle through all the time. If that worked, then none of us would be stuck in cycles of burnout or emotional numbness.
A healthy community is an ecosystem of love
Not only is a community a beneficial support system for when you are going through challenging times, but it is also an amazing place to be witnessed in your growth.
A community can cheer you on and celebrate your wins too!
When you are embarking on an intensive healing journey, the wins pop up in subtle and unexpected ways. There are a million tiny celebrations that might not seem like a big deal but can have a drastic impact on your daily life.
When you set a boundary and stick to it or you recognize negative self-talk and make the choice to speak kindly to yourself, that’s a huge win. Being witnessed in those seemingly small shifts is important to creating sustainable change.
It feels really good to be celebrated…
It feels really good to celebrate the wins of others!
Just like an ecosystem in nature, a supportive community feeds itself. When you need support, you are supported. When you have a celebration, you are celebrated.
Don’t underestimate the power of healing that comes from supporting others through their challenges and celebrations.
The more that the community members are engaged and invested, the more nourished they feel. Then they are able to give to each other from the energetic overflow.
Safety is key
Not all communities are created equal.
When you are looking for a healing community to support and celebrate with you, safety is key. Remember that healing happens in the most vulnerable moments. You will not be able to let your guard down and be courageously vulnerable if you don’t feel safe.
Here are some things to look for when you are considering joining a community:
- Are there clear boundaries around what is expected of members?
- Are there procedures in place for addressing boundary violations?
- Is the community monitored by a moderator or a manager?
- Are celebrations and support being offered?
As you know, my specialty is permanent transformation. Over in the Unstuck Yourself Academy community, we touch on super-sensitive topics that trigger a lot of deeply held false beliefs. We get out the heavy-duty equipment and excavate those outdated patterns and programs.
We are here to support and celebrate you as navigate the ups and downs of healing through the things you were afraid to look at before.
Don’t take my word for it. Here is what community members are saying.
You’ve tried it the hard way. Aren’t you curious about what it would be like to be cheered on and held?
Now it’s time to let us lift you up! You don’t have to do any of this alone.